Sneaky Sexin

Submitted by Cat Attack

It was August, and college was starting in just a few short days. It was the last chance I had to make a move on a boy I'd had my eye on for a while. Truth be told, I always planned on being with him, just not in the way I was. At about 5 o'clock in the morning he came over, me and all my friends were sitting around chatting when we decided to call it a night. I went up to bed expecting to be alone. After I was sleeping for a few hours someone was suddenly behind me... I rolled over to see the boy I'd been waiting for all year.

We went a few kinky rounds of sex before it happend. Someone opened up the door and started talking. I tightly grasped his mouth so he wouldn't talk, and told my best friend I'd be out in a few. After another hour of nonstop fun, I decided to call it a night. I rolled over and went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up to a note saying "starting off college right see you when i get back ;)" I went into my best friend's room glowing and she asked me what had happend. I told her that the boy I liked had finally given me what I needed and that I was going home, I'd call her later. To this day, I still don't think she knows I had sex for 3 hours with her boyfriend. We are still best friends and when he comes home for Christmas break, maybe we'll tell her together.

Since when is Oxford an Expert Anyway?

So, Oxford Dictionary announced its Word of the Year today, and the honor goes to "unfriend." With competition like "hashtag," paywall," "zombie bank," "choice mom," "teabagger" (not the good kind), and "brown state," we understand how the winner was chosen. But then you get to the last word on the list of contenders. How was "tramp stamp" so obviously snubbed?! We want a revote! What a travesty!

http://blog.oup.com/2009/11/unfriend/

Why Didn't We Learn about Charts Like This in Math Class?

Need a quick fix between booty calls? How about trying one of these? Our favorite is the "Ball Pit at Chuck-E-Cheese."

http://www.buzzfeed.com/eliot/sexual-positions-for-the-lonely-nsfw-26q/

Pornaments

Just in time for your Christmas list!

http://jezebel.com/5401640/ho-ho-ho

Make Some Noise!

Now THIS is news: a couple in the UK is in the midst of appealing a legal order banning them from having loud sex. Looks like their neighbors complained about all of the screaming and moaning--so much so that sound equipment was installed in the next apartment to record the decibel levels! WTF is going on over there...?!

Do you have any stories about getting caught having loud sex? If you do, send them on over to slutrehab@gmail .com and we'll post them on our site--anonymously if you want!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/lawandorder/6531852/Woman-claims-order-banning-her-from-noisy-sex-is-breach-of-human-rights.html

Bow-chicka-no-no

Here's an article for guys and girls alike: "How Not to Make Love Like a Porn Star." Unless, that is, you enjoy seducing the pizza guy and getting it on to the sounds of a synthesizer.

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/11/01/make_love_like_a_porn_star_not/index.html

Slut of the Month

With her multiple submissions, no-nonsense attitude, and shameless overshares, our very first Slut of the Month is.....

Lucky Prescott!

Mazel tov, Lucky. Keep the stories coming!

The headline: "Should Mothers Teach Daughters to Enjoy Sex?"

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/addiction-in-society/200903/should-mothers-teach-daughters-enjoy-sex

NO, teach them to hate it so that the rest of their lives are unnecessarily confusing and complicated, filled with psychiatrists and self-esteem issues. Great idea!

Thanks to Barbara Walters and her obsession with vibrators for bringing this debate to the forefront. And thank YOU, fans of Slut Rehab, for helping to spread the word that talking about and (GASP) enjoying sex is okay!

Keep sending your stories to slutrehab@gmail.com!