No More Boners On-the-Go!

Apparently Apple is going on the warpath and slashing any apps that are too sexy. Have these changes affected you? Let us know if you're getting cockblocked by Apple!

A New Line of Slutty Clothes

Now this is a fashion line we can get behind. With a next-to-naked Pam Anderson strutting down the runway, the Richie Rich line A*muse, apparently created with the help of Anderson herself, premiered during NY Fashion Week. We're not sure who their clientele is--strippers, prostitutes, run-of-the-mill sluts, drag queens--but whoever purchases these "fashions" will surely grab attention. The big question, though, is why the hell Pam is trying to cover herself. No need to be modest when all you're wearing are two seat belts attached to a pair of hotpants.

Wrap Your Woody for National Condom Week

Since we're in the midst of National Condom Week (2/14-2/21), we've decided to give you some alternatives to your typical Trojans and Lifestyles. Here are some of the hottest trends out there:

Protect your putter with the Tiger Woods condom!

Get a 3-in-1 Frosty the Snowman condom pack and go thumpity-thump-thump all night long.

Call your pocket with this eight-ball number:

Live out your Obama, Clinton (either Bill or Hill), or...McCain (ew!) fantasies with these political condoms:

Or, studs, you can even put your own mug on a condom with a little inspirational message!

What Were You Thinking?

What are some of the things that go through your head while you're giving head? Maybe that you're enjoying giving the other person pleasure, ways to improve your technique. How about while you're having sex? Go this direction, that direction, heat, tingles. Well, stop thinking about it--these proposed Durex ads list every possible thought.

A Slutty Treasure Chest

Help your Slutty Valentine keep track of her little treasures, condoms, phone numbers, etc with one of these keepsake boxes. Our favorite is the one labeled Strumpet.

Slutty Readers

Does your Slutty Valentine know how to read? Or just how to count the notches in her bedpost? If she can read, she might like this erotic thriller, The White Lady Murders--written by a Slut Rehab fan. If you're on a budget, and your ho has a Kindle, it's only $1.

Honey, Can You Hold My Whip Please?

Ever wonder what it's like to balance your job as a dominatrix with your real life and boyfriend? Find out here.

Let's Make a LoveKit

How about creating your own LoveKit from Booty Parlor? You can stock it with everything from lip gloss and body shimmer to whips, undies, and toys. Each one comes with a va-va-voom feather boa in designer packaging. Probably the most practical gift idea we've given so far--and you can make it as slutty or as tame as you want.

Suck & Disorderly

Here's a case of male model sluttiness. Looks as though this Prada model thought he could get off of some public drunkenness and disorderly conduct charges by offering to suck off the arresting cops. Yeah, that's the way you'll beat the disorderly conduct charge.

Hey Valentine, You Know What Time it Is?

Today's My Slutty Valentine gift idea: a clock that says "Support diversity, sleep around." You know, so your ho can keep track of her comings and goings. Hope your slutty valentine doesn't just tell time with digital clocks!

Tales of a Prostidude

So, as you may or may not know, Nevada now has its first-ever male prostitute. This was a big deal a month or so ago—all over the news, etc—and now he’s back in the headlines.

Today, the NY Post ran an undercover story of one woman’s trip to Nevada, where she spent two hours with “Markus” for $500. Don’t bother reading the article, which is just a bunch of incoherent factoids slapped together. Here is your cheat sheet:

* The woman did not sleep or make out with ex-Marine Markus (real name, Patrick). This is the most important fact. How can you write an undercover expose if you don’t experience the goods? What a waste of $500.
* He is well-hung and has a crazy body.
* Patrick has mommy issues, which he credits as the reason he got into prostitution.
* He lost his v-card at age 23 (he’s 25 now) and has only slept with a total of SIX (6) women. What business does he have being a prostidude? Despite all of the publicity his hiring received, the reporter is only his second client.
* This man is truly pathetic—likening himself to Van Gogh, Moby, Rosa Parks, and Steve-O.
* We need less talk, more action. Surely the reporter just tried to keep him talking, but the unnecessary autobiography Patrick provided just makes him look ridiculous.

Add in the pre-getting-dirty shower to inspect each other’s goods and the heart-shaped, candle-filled hot tub…this revolutionary prostidude is everything you’d expect him to be.

Valentine's Day Sucks...Literally

And now for a new segment we're calling "My Slutty Valentine"--thoughtful V-day gift ideas for the ho in your life.

Today's is a freezer pop mold in the shape of a penis. Though we're not sure that the color of the mold (in this case purple) is relevant, it is important to note that this mold makes you not just one penis pop, but four. One apiece for your ho and three of her slutty friends.

Or all four for said ho. Depending on how she rolls.

Speak Your Mind!

Just wanted to draw your attention to this great comment from one of our readers about our Feminism vs. Promiscuity post from a couple of weeks ago. Let us know how you feel about the topic--we love hearing what you have to say!

"finally getting around to reading this--you should have a link to this article on your homepage at all times. it's pretty much the ultimate debate/question for people like us.

i just do not see a damn thing wrong with girls having & enjoying lots of sex, under whatever circumstances they choose. as long as the girl is being safe with STDs/pregnancy and realizes that she's not going to find a boyfriend/husband in this manner, then who gives a shit? why the hell should anyone else have a say in it that counts for more than a random person's opinion? granted, she will get absolutely NO respect from most men or women (which is truly unfortunate in many cases), but as long as she continues to respect herself, why is it so wrong? why can she not just have fun and do whatever without hurting anyone or herself?

and i really don't give a crap about the double-standard aspect of this; this has nothing to do with guys as far as i'm concerned. i actually have more of a problem with the typical idea of feminism than i do with promiscuity of women or men, because i can't see the problem with a girl being slutty by choice. i can't see why a slut cannot also be a feminist.

so many feminists want to give women "power" and "equality" by stripping them of their actual femininity and sexuality. some people seem to equate being a feminist with taping down your boobs, paying for all your own stuff, and wearing pantsuits. it's ridiculous.

any woman can earn respect, regardless of what she looks like or who she is having sex with, by using her brain, showing that she's smart and hard working, showing that she deserves to be taken seriously--but to imply that these same women cannot also be fun, playful, trendy, pretty, sexy, girly, etc., is completely missing the point. having a healthy attitude about sex is a huge part of it all, of life in general--and what a real feminist would be in favor of. not that bedding down every male or female in sight is going to be "healthy" for every girl, but for those who are really, truly ok with that behavior, more power to them."

Pork More in Argentina

Ooooh yeah....the Argentinean presidente likes to pork.

Big Breasted Need Only Apply for Australian Porn

Looks like the Australian government wants to perpetuate the stereotype of big boobs in porn. Why do we say this? Oh, just because they're banning small breasted-porn, as well as female ejaculation. The latter, they just say is gross. But the former is to prevent pedophilia. Right. Because only little girls have small boobs. We hope they plan on regulating this by sending an elected official to each porn shoot to personally feel up the actresses to ensure they pass the C-cup test.