Wednesday, April 28, 2010
A USB Port Like No Other
One of our tipsters sent us a piece about this ridiculously awesome Craigslist ad, where some secret-agent ho shoved her one-night-stand's flash drive up her poon and peaced out. Apparently his hard drive just didn't do enough for her. Fantastic!!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Tomorrow is Fear to Freedom Day
Despite our sexual content and pro-sluttiness agenda, we're a huge supporter of RAINN (Rape, Assault, & Incest National Network), and we hope you are too. Every voice counts when taking a stand against sexual crimes suffered by both men and women--crimes that too often get ignored or brushed off.
Tomorrow, April 28, is a day to take a stand by participating in Fear to Freedom Day. This past month has been Sexual Assault Awareness Month, with workshops, meetings, demonstrations, and forums all over the country, where survivors and their supporters have come together to bring awareness to sexual assault and it starts coming to a close tomorrow.
Here is the low-down on Fear to Freedom Day, according to Rosemary Trible, a rape survivor and fellow RAINN supporter--we hope you take part and spread the word--tomorrow and every other day:
FEAR TO FREEDOM DAY
APRIL 28, 2010
Renewed Hope, Restored Self-worth and Joy for Survivors
In the last few months, I have been speaking across the country about my own dark, fearful journey that began in December of 1975 when I was raped at gunpoint. Since my book, Fear to Freedom, was released, my heart has been burdened for so many people who I have met who have been crushed with fear from an experience with sexual assault.
As April is recognized as sexual assault month, let’s make April 28th, Fear to Freedom Day. This day signifies that we can find the freedom to move from victim to victory.
Sexual assault places a dagger of fear deep in one’s heart that lingers after the physical pain is gone. Fear is like bacteria - - when it stays in the dark it grows, but it dies when it is brought to the light. Fear to Freedom Day will help bring this terrible crime to light and empower those who have kept this secret deep in their hearts.
On April 28th, let’s join together in saying enough is enough and take back the joy that has been stolen and join the journey from fear to freedom.
Please send this message to friends ask them to join us April 28th for Fear to Freedom Day. There are a few things we can do on Fear to Freedom Day: firstly, take a moment to think about anyone you know who has been sexually abused. Secondly, reach out with a phone call or email letting him or her know you care about them. Thirdly, tell us your story. We want to gather 100 Fear to Freedom stories of people who have overcome sexual assault and are willing share their healing journeys to empower and support others.
Post your story on Fear to Freedom’s Facebook page, under the Freedom Journey Stories in the discussion feature.
Let’s take April 28th, Fear to Freedom Day, join together and fight against sexual assault and help the brokenhearted find hope and joy.
Tomorrow, April 28, is a day to take a stand by participating in Fear to Freedom Day. This past month has been Sexual Assault Awareness Month, with workshops, meetings, demonstrations, and forums all over the country, where survivors and their supporters have come together to bring awareness to sexual assault and it starts coming to a close tomorrow.
Here is the low-down on Fear to Freedom Day, according to Rosemary Trible, a rape survivor and fellow RAINN supporter--we hope you take part and spread the word--tomorrow and every other day:
FEAR TO FREEDOM DAY
APRIL 28, 2010
Renewed Hope, Restored Self-worth and Joy for Survivors
In the last few months, I have been speaking across the country about my own dark, fearful journey that began in December of 1975 when I was raped at gunpoint. Since my book, Fear to Freedom, was released, my heart has been burdened for so many people who I have met who have been crushed with fear from an experience with sexual assault.
As April is recognized as sexual assault month, let’s make April 28th, Fear to Freedom Day. This day signifies that we can find the freedom to move from victim to victory.
Sexual assault places a dagger of fear deep in one’s heart that lingers after the physical pain is gone. Fear is like bacteria - - when it stays in the dark it grows, but it dies when it is brought to the light. Fear to Freedom Day will help bring this terrible crime to light and empower those who have kept this secret deep in their hearts.
On April 28th, let’s join together in saying enough is enough and take back the joy that has been stolen and join the journey from fear to freedom.
Please send this message to friends ask them to join us April 28th for Fear to Freedom Day. There are a few things we can do on Fear to Freedom Day: firstly, take a moment to think about anyone you know who has been sexually abused. Secondly, reach out with a phone call or email letting him or her know you care about them. Thirdly, tell us your story. We want to gather 100 Fear to Freedom stories of people who have overcome sexual assault and are willing share their healing journeys to empower and support others.
Post your story on Fear to Freedom’s Facebook page, under the Freedom Journey Stories in the discussion feature.
Let’s take April 28th, Fear to Freedom Day, join together and fight against sexual assault and help the brokenhearted find hope and joy.
Librarians are Sluts Too, Ya Know
We always knew librarians were hiding something beneath those sweater sets and cat-eye glasses. And now the finally-released results of a 1992 librarian sex survey prove it.
While some reviewers are saying that there's nothing too risque to report on, we feel that there are quite a few secrets hidden amongst the stacks to discuss.
Let's start out with this one: "22% of the respondents felt that libraries should have condom dispensers in their bathrooms." WTF, why? Perhaps to save the librarians time from peeling apart the Playboy, Playgirl, and Playguy magazines that 40%, 23%, and 6%, respectively, of the surveyed think libraries should carry. (BTW, we need a copy of Playguy stat.) Or, to go along with the 17% of respondents who felt that libraries should carry X rated videos.
Then we get to the part about the librarians' own sex lives. Fittingly, each librarian was asked to liken their first time to a Shakespearean titles: 28% chose Comedy of Errors; 23% chose Midsummer’s Night Dream; 22% chose Much Ado About Nothing; 21% chose All’s Well That Ends Well; and 6% chose Rape of Lucrece.
Speaking of first times, 12% of the bookworms lost their virginity between ages 12 -15; 22% between 16 and 18; 37% between 19 and 21; 17% between 22 and 25; 5% between 26 and 30; 2% between 31 and 35; 1% between 36 and 100; 4% are virgins. Those last two statistics are heartbreakingly stunning, aren't they?
The literary references continue when survey takers were asked to pick one of the following to describe their sex life: romance (38%), fantasy (31%), comedy (22%), or tragedy (9%).
Here are some more stats for you:
50% of the respondents reported having sex 1 – 2 times per week
22% 3 – 4 times per week
21% – 0 times a week (If only 4% were virgins, we have lots of prudes mixed in!)
6% 5 -7 times per week
1% have it more than 7 times per week
63% had had sex in a car
57% in a sleazy motel room
52% sleeping bag
43% kitchen floor
32% hot tub
20% library
7% airplane
8% elevator
30% have had 2 -5 partners
22% – 1 partner
17% – 6 -10
16% – 11 -20
7% 21 -50*
4% more than 50*
4% – none
*denotes current members of Slut Rehab
20% of the librarians questions felt that sex without love is by definition bad sex. And we feel that you are delusional.
And while 61% of the respondents admitted to renting an x rated movie, 91% had also read The Joy of Sex; 29% read How to Make Love to a Man; 14% read Human Sexual Inadequacy; and 3% read Macho Sluts. Sadly, our local library does not carry the last title, but apparently it's a compliation of erotica by "noted pornographer" Pat Califia. Adding it to our Amazon wish list as we speak...
Ever get it on in a library? Send a recap of your literary encounter to slutrehab@gmail.com! Maybe we'll feature your story (anonymously if you'd like) on our blog.
While some reviewers are saying that there's nothing too risque to report on, we feel that there are quite a few secrets hidden amongst the stacks to discuss.
Let's start out with this one: "22% of the respondents felt that libraries should have condom dispensers in their bathrooms." WTF, why? Perhaps to save the librarians time from peeling apart the Playboy, Playgirl, and Playguy magazines that 40%, 23%, and 6%, respectively, of the surveyed think libraries should carry. (BTW, we need a copy of Playguy stat.) Or, to go along with the 17% of respondents who felt that libraries should carry X rated videos.
Then we get to the part about the librarians' own sex lives. Fittingly, each librarian was asked to liken their first time to a Shakespearean titles: 28% chose Comedy of Errors; 23% chose Midsummer’s Night Dream; 22% chose Much Ado About Nothing; 21% chose All’s Well That Ends Well; and 6% chose Rape of Lucrece.
Speaking of first times, 12% of the bookworms lost their virginity between ages 12 -15; 22% between 16 and 18; 37% between 19 and 21; 17% between 22 and 25; 5% between 26 and 30; 2% between 31 and 35; 1% between 36 and 100; 4% are virgins. Those last two statistics are heartbreakingly stunning, aren't they?
The literary references continue when survey takers were asked to pick one of the following to describe their sex life: romance (38%), fantasy (31%), comedy (22%), or tragedy (9%).
Here are some more stats for you:
50% of the respondents reported having sex 1 – 2 times per week
22% 3 – 4 times per week
21% – 0 times a week (If only 4% were virgins, we have lots of prudes mixed in!)
6% 5 -7 times per week
1% have it more than 7 times per week
63% had had sex in a car
57% in a sleazy motel room
52% sleeping bag
43% kitchen floor
32% hot tub
20% library
7% airplane
8% elevator
30% have had 2 -5 partners
22% – 1 partner
17% – 6 -10
16% – 11 -20
7% 21 -50*
4% more than 50*
4% – none
*denotes current members of Slut Rehab
20% of the librarians questions felt that sex without love is by definition bad sex. And we feel that you are delusional.
And while 61% of the respondents admitted to renting an x rated movie, 91% had also read The Joy of Sex; 29% read How to Make Love to a Man; 14% read Human Sexual Inadequacy; and 3% read Macho Sluts. Sadly, our local library does not carry the last title, but apparently it's a compliation of erotica by "noted pornographer" Pat Califia. Adding it to our Amazon wish list as we speak...
Ever get it on in a library? Send a recap of your literary encounter to slutrehab@gmail.com! Maybe we'll feature your story (anonymously if you'd like) on our blog.
Monday, April 26, 2010
It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's a....Boobquake?
Set your knockers free--it's Boobquake day!!
Did you know that you, scantily-clad women of the world, are the cause for the abundance of earthquakes happening lately? Well, apparently that's the case, at least according to some Islamic cleric out there. The devastating earthquakes all around the globe have been a direct punishment from God for all of the skanks trotting about our planet.
As a result, a Purdue University student declared today Boobquake, a day where women everywhere should leave their bras at home and let the girls bounce around as they see fit. The problem? There was actually an earthquake today in Taiwan....
...maybe the Islamic guy was onto something after all?
Either way, we hope you're giving your bras a break today!
Did you know that you, scantily-clad women of the world, are the cause for the abundance of earthquakes happening lately? Well, apparently that's the case, at least according to some Islamic cleric out there. The devastating earthquakes all around the globe have been a direct punishment from God for all of the skanks trotting about our planet.
As a result, a Purdue University student declared today Boobquake, a day where women everywhere should leave their bras at home and let the girls bounce around as they see fit. The problem? There was actually an earthquake today in Taiwan....
...maybe the Islamic guy was onto something after all?
Either way, we hope you're giving your bras a break today!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
A Horse is a Horse
So as not to get sued, let's be honest right now--we're getting all of our info for this post from this Radar article. So, Oprah--sue them, not us!
Apparently the Queen of Daytime Talk has been making her billions since high school when she would send her younger siblings out on the porch with popsicles while she brought older boyfriends into her bedroom and performed "The Horse" on them for cash.
Though we can't (and don't want to) imagine Oprah performing a move like this, urbandictionary.com says that The Horse is "a sexual position where you have her get down on all fours..you put a pencil in her mouth and have her bite down on it and screw her from behind untill she starts blowing air outta her mouth...it sounds like a horse... "
We imagine it to be more of a rodeo. Either way, that's the Oprah sex news (according to Radar Online).
Apparently the Queen of Daytime Talk has been making her billions since high school when she would send her younger siblings out on the porch with popsicles while she brought older boyfriends into her bedroom and performed "The Horse" on them for cash.
Though we can't (and don't want to) imagine Oprah performing a move like this, urbandictionary.com says that The Horse is "a sexual position where you have her get down on all fours..you put a pencil in her mouth and have her bite down on it and screw her from behind untill she starts blowing air outta her mouth...it sounds like a horse... "
We imagine it to be more of a rodeo. Either way, that's the Oprah sex news (according to Radar Online).
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Who will be the Lucky Caller?
Ladies, get in line now! Larry King is single!
Seems that things with his eighth wife have gone south, so lucky for all of you, he's back on the market.
Just picture be bound up with those suspenders, yelled at to speak louder with that raspy voice, giving a massage to that hunch back.
Heavenly, no?
Monday, April 19, 2010
It's a No-Go for Gaga
So, you've probably heard by now: Lady Gaga is celibate.
Yeah, we’re not sure we buy it either, what with her wardrobe of high-cut, diamond-encrusted leotards as she prances across the stage talking about “vertigo sticks” and her “rear window.” But here’s what the pop star has to say:
“…it's OK not to have sex, it's OK to get to know people. I'm celibate, celibacy's fine.”
“I remember the cool girls when I was growing up. Everyone started to have sex. But it's not really cool any more to have sex all the time. It's cooler to be strong and independent.”
Thumbs down on her thoughts that “it’s not really cool any more to have sex all the time.” A walk to the corner for the paper will prove otherwise with billboards of half-naked models selling construction boots. But we’ll give her a thumbs up on encouraging girls to be strong and independent, making good choices, and not folding to peer pressure.
Still, shouldn’t she back that up by dressing the part and not being a factor in the “sex sells” mentality?
Yeah, we’re not sure we buy it either, what with her wardrobe of high-cut, diamond-encrusted leotards as she prances across the stage talking about “vertigo sticks” and her “rear window.” But here’s what the pop star has to say:
“…it's OK not to have sex, it's OK to get to know people. I'm celibate, celibacy's fine.”
“I remember the cool girls when I was growing up. Everyone started to have sex. But it's not really cool any more to have sex all the time. It's cooler to be strong and independent.”
Thumbs down on her thoughts that “it’s not really cool any more to have sex all the time.” A walk to the corner for the paper will prove otherwise with billboards of half-naked models selling construction boots. But we’ll give her a thumbs up on encouraging girls to be strong and independent, making good choices, and not folding to peer pressure.
Still, shouldn’t she back that up by dressing the part and not being a factor in the “sex sells” mentality?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Pole Dancing 101
Thinking about a college transfer? How about a semester abroad? While there are plenty of options out there, Cambridge University just earned a few bonus points. Why is that? Well, they now offer pole dancing. That's right.
Though your stripper skills won't necessarily be graded, they will definitely improve with this school-sponsored course, meant to provide "harmless fun" during stressful times. But there is one downside: No high heels allowed.
So how are you supposed to work your way up the strip club cages if you don't learn the craft in clear, platform, stripper shoes? Or even worse--how can you earn a spot on the Pole Dancing Olympic Team? Will all of your exotic dancing dreams be dashed if you take classes at a reputable, accredited university? Maybe you're better off jumping stripper-heel first onto the poles at the good old Golden Banana after all.
Though your stripper skills won't necessarily be graded, they will definitely improve with this school-sponsored course, meant to provide "harmless fun" during stressful times. But there is one downside: No high heels allowed.
So how are you supposed to work your way up the strip club cages if you don't learn the craft in clear, platform, stripper shoes? Or even worse--how can you earn a spot on the Pole Dancing Olympic Team? Will all of your exotic dancing dreams be dashed if you take classes at a reputable, accredited university? Maybe you're better off jumping stripper-heel first onto the poles at the good old Golden Banana after all.
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