Proud to Be a Part of the "Fling Culture"

A person who enjoys having sex—whether in a monogamous relationship or with strangers—does not a murderer make. As easy as it is to blame American culture, overindulgence in drugs and alcohol, promiscuity, and the objectification of women for much larger issues, one has nothing to do with the other.

British columnist Libby Purves disagrees. But let’s be honest, those engaging in this “fling-culture” are well aware of what they are doing and of the consequences. They aren’t afraid of being labeled a “whore” or a “slut,” and I have yet to see anyone become “shrilly angry if anyone seems to disapprove” of their lifestyle. People are entitled to choose the activities they want to partake in, and the beauty of this whole argument is that lots of people out there don’t participate in a promiscuous lifestyle. But they’re not fun to write about, are they?

These horrible people “persuade themselves that the great gift of physical intimacy is as meaningless as a handshake.” Well guess what? Sometimes, it is! Of course people have their reasons for having random sex—and, yes, those reasons may in fact be because they are “randy and needy”—but the choice in the “fling partner” is meaningless. But who cares?

Sexual “adventurousness” is a part of society, so instead of balking at it and making people feel bad for doing it, let’s figure out a way to make it safer. Let’s educate people about ways of preventing and dealing with sexual assault and rape. Let’s bring justice to those who are violated as a result and not make women who are raped or sexually assaulted feel like they are the ones that did something wrong, that they had it coming to them, that because they dress a certain way or laugh a little too flirtatiously, or have slept with one too many men that they are to blame for other people’s lack of respect and lack of control.

Yes, it can be dangerous—rape and sexual assault are becoming more and more commonplace, but it can also be therapeutic. It can make someone feel good about him or herself—make him/her feel sexy, feel loved, feel needed—because, let’s face it, there are times when we need extra encouragement. And maybe those that participate in one-night-stands “are not sure they wholly approve of themselves.” But who does? Are any of us perfect? Are you, Ms. Purves?