The Scent of a Woman's...Crotch?

Can't get enough of that oh-so-sweet poon smell? Well, now you can buy it in a bottle, with this new German cologne aptly named Vulva. Simply roll-on the scent-o-vagina, made out of "organic content" such as the "urine, sweat, and female arousal" of one particular blonde woman. The extraction and bottling process sounds quite complicated, but in this interview with Vice, the company head stands by his product.

What Were You Thinking?

What are some of the things that go through your head while you're giving head? Maybe that you're enjoying giving the other person pleasure, ways to improve your technique. How about while you're having sex? Go this direction, that direction, heat, tingles. Well, stop thinking about it--these proposed Durex ads list every possible thought.

False Advertising

Looks like Posh was too busy being a robot to defend her man, David Beckham, from this crazed Italian reporter who wanted to find out if the soccer player's package is as advertised in his Armani ads. The whole stunt was caught on camera and aired across Italy, but that's not the best part. Looks like the reporter la...dy got away with it all! From what we can tell, she didn't get anything more than a dirty look and a small shove to the side from some body guards. Oh, and according to her, he's small.

American (Slutty) Apparel

American Apparel. We always thought they simply sold t-shirts, leggings, and t-shirt-related clothes. We did not know that they also have a stripper/slut attire department.



After picking up a copy of L Magazine last week, we were shocked to see this lovely lady sprawled out across the back cover:






Since when can you buy lace body suits from a t-shirt store? Lucky for us, and for you, the cat is out of the bag. For a mere $50, you can have this sexy unitard (what an oxymoron that is). From what we can tell from the provocative photo shoots on the American Apparel site (in particular the bent-over-a-mattress shots), the unitard is not crotchless--so good luck going to the bathroom (or doing anything else for that matter). You'll have to break through all of the sweaters, skirts, and whatever other layers the site suggests you wear over it. Yeah right.

We can only assume that if you look carefully enough through the American Apparel site, you're bound to find some more porn-type shots. Happy shopping!

Awesome Advertising: The Booty Pop

Sir Mix-A-Lot must be so confused with this new invention, the Booty Pop.

Now, ladies with no butt can instantly have one without doing squats or paying for implants. Just slip on these skivvies and men will come flocking to you and yo' new behind.

But picture it. You've got on your new pair of black (or if you call in the next 10 minutes, beige) pair of Booty Pop undies, feeling all sexy at the club, when a hottie comes up to you and wants to "get you home and ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh!" So you decide to go. When you get there, he starts familiarizing himself with your backside, all ready to get his "friction on." As he squeezes a handful of what he expects to be 100% "Oakland booty," he realizes that you've taken the phrase cushion for the pushin' a bit too literally.

Good luck explaining that one!