Feeling a Little Frisky, Dolly?

Nipples not hard enough? Or, rather, are your blow up doll's nipples not hard enough?

Then you needto by (her) Nippurun ~ Stick-on Nipples to give her that always-excited look. Whether she has a headache, is feeling a little stiff, or is half-deflated.

The Scent of a Woman's...Crotch?

Can't get enough of that oh-so-sweet poon smell? Well, now you can buy it in a bottle, with this new German cologne aptly named Vulva. Simply roll-on the scent-o-vagina, made out of "organic content" such as the "urine, sweat, and female arousal" of one particular blonde woman. The extraction and bottling process sounds quite complicated, but in this interview with Vice, the company head stands by his product.

Wrap Your Woody for National Condom Week

Since we're in the midst of National Condom Week (2/14-2/21), we've decided to give you some alternatives to your typical Trojans and Lifestyles. Here are some of the hottest trends out there:

Protect your putter with the Tiger Woods condom!

Get a 3-in-1 Frosty the Snowman condom pack and go thumpity-thump-thump all night long.

Call your pocket with this eight-ball number:

Live out your Obama, Clinton (either Bill or Hill), or...McCain (ew!) fantasies with these political condoms:

Or, studs, you can even put your own mug on a condom with a little inspirational message!

Let's Make a LoveKit

How about creating your own LoveKit from Booty Parlor? You can stock it with everything from lip gloss and body shimmer to whips, undies, and toys. Each one comes with a va-va-voom feather boa in designer packaging. Probably the most practical gift idea we've given so far--and you can make it as slutty or as tame as you want.

Hey Valentine, You Know What Time it Is?

Today's My Slutty Valentine gift idea: a clock that says "Support diversity, sleep around." You know, so your ho can keep track of her comings and goings. Hope your slutty valentine doesn't just tell time with digital clocks!

Valentine's Day Sucks...Literally

And now for a new segment we're calling "My Slutty Valentine"--thoughtful V-day gift ideas for the ho in your life.

Today's is a freezer pop mold in the shape of a penis. Though we're not sure that the color of the mold (in this case purple) is relevant, it is important to note that this mold makes you not just one penis pop, but four. One apiece for your ho and three of her slutty friends.

Or all four for said ho. Depending on how she rolls.