Commentating Hugh Hefner's Grand Slam

Ever wonder what it's like to bang 84-year-old Hugh Hefner? We thought so! And lucky for you, Kendra Wilkinson has written a tell-all memoir appropriately titled "Sliding Into Home," in which she shares her story of growing up a drug addict, becoming a stripper, and finally getting frisky with the Playboy himself.

We sincerely hope she goes into as much detail as possible, because who wouldn't want to know what it's like to cuddle up to an octogenarian sack of bones?

[via CNN]

A Horse is a Horse

So as not to get sued, let's be honest right now--we're getting all of our info for this post from this Radar article. So, Oprah--sue them, not us!

Apparently the Queen of Daytime Talk has been making her billions since high school when she would send her younger siblings out on the porch with popsicles while she brought older boyfriends into her bedroom and performed "The Horse" on them for cash.

Though we can't (and don't want to) imagine Oprah performing a move like this, urbandictionary.com says that The Horse is "a sexual position where you have her get down on all fours..you put a pencil in her mouth and have her bite down on it and screw her from behind untill she starts blowing air outta her mouth...it sounds like a horse... "

We imagine it to be more of a rodeo. Either way, that's the Oprah sex news (according to Radar Online).

Who will be the Lucky Caller?

Ladies, get in line now! Larry King is single!

Seems that things with his eighth wife have gone south, so lucky for all of you, he's back on the market.

Just picture be bound up with those suspenders, yelled at to speak louder with that raspy voice, giving a massage to that hunch back.

Heavenly, no?

It's a No-Go for Gaga

So, you've probably heard by now: Lady Gaga is celibate.

Yeah, we’re not sure we buy it either, what with her wardrobe of high-cut, diamond-encrusted leotards as she prances across the stage talking about “vertigo sticks” and her “rear window.” But here’s what the pop star has to say:

“…it's OK not to have sex, it's OK to get to know people. I'm celibate, celibacy's fine.”

“I remember the cool girls when I was growing up. Everyone started to have sex. But it's not really cool any more to have sex all the time. It's cooler to be strong and independent.”

Thumbs down on her thoughts that “it’s not really cool any more to have sex all the time.” A walk to the corner for the paper will prove otherwise with billboards of half-naked models selling construction boots. But we’ll give her a thumbs up on encouraging girls to be strong and independent, making good choices, and not folding to peer pressure.

Still, shouldn’t she back that up by dressing the part and not being a factor in the “sex sells” mentality?

A New Line of Slutty Clothes

Now this is a fashion line we can get behind. With a next-to-naked Pam Anderson strutting down the runway, the Richie Rich line A*muse, apparently created with the help of Anderson herself, premiered during NY Fashion Week. We're not sure who their clientele is--strippers, prostitutes, run-of-the-mill sluts, drag queens--but whoever purchases these "fashions" will surely grab attention. The big question, though, is why the hell Pam is trying to cover herself. No need to be modest when all you're wearing are two seat belts attached to a pair of hotpants.

Suck & Disorderly

Here's a case of male model sluttiness. Looks as though this Prada model thought he could get off of some public drunkenness and disorderly conduct charges by offering to suck off the arresting cops. Yeah, that's the way you'll beat the disorderly conduct charge.

False Advertising

Looks like Posh was too busy being a robot to defend her man, David Beckham, from this crazed Italian reporter who wanted to find out if the soccer player's package is as advertised in his Armani ads. The whole stunt was caught on camera and aired across Italy, but that's not the best part. Looks like the reporter la...dy got away with it all! From what we can tell, she didn't get anything more than a dirty look and a small shove to the side from some body guards. Oh, and according to her, he's small.

All The Glitters...

So last week, Jennifer Love Hewitt was on that fantastic show Lopez Tonight touting her "Vajazzle." Yes, Vajazzle. According to a NYC spa where the craze began, it's "completely bare with a flair." Get your regular Brazilian wax, slap on a Swavorski crystal design, and voila! What do you think? Do you need your nibbly bits sparkly? And dudes--what would you think if you saw your lady's kiki all blinged out?

Gaga: To Be Sexy or Not to Be Sexy

So Lady Gaga recently patted herself on the back for not having "sexual" album covers. While we commend her for standing up for her beliefs when going up against record execs, what about some of these outfit choices? Shouldn't she be consistent?