No More Boners On-the-Go!

Apparently Apple is going on the warpath and slashing any apps that are too sexy. Have these changes affected you? Let us know if you're getting cockblocked by Apple!

A New Line of Slutty Clothes

Now this is a fashion line we can get behind. With a next-to-naked Pam Anderson strutting down the runway, the Richie Rich line A*muse, apparently created with the help of Anderson herself, premiered during NY Fashion Week. We're not sure who their clientele is--strippers, prostitutes, run-of-the-mill sluts, drag queens--but whoever purchases these "fashions" will surely grab attention. The big question, though, is why the hell Pam is trying to cover herself. No need to be modest when all you're wearing are two seat belts attached to a pair of hotpants.

Wrap Your Woody for National Condom Week

Since we're in the midst of National Condom Week (2/14-2/21), we've decided to give you some alternatives to your typical Trojans and Lifestyles. Here are some of the hottest trends out there:

Protect your putter with the Tiger Woods condom!

Get a 3-in-1 Frosty the Snowman condom pack and go thumpity-thump-thump all night long.

Call your pocket with this eight-ball number:

Live out your Obama, Clinton (either Bill or Hill), or...McCain (ew!) fantasies with these political condoms:

Or, studs, you can even put your own mug on a condom with a little inspirational message!

A Slutty Treasure Chest

Help your Slutty Valentine keep track of her little treasures, condoms, phone numbers, etc with one of these keepsake boxes. Our favorite is the one labeled Strumpet.

Honey, Can You Hold My Whip Please?

Ever wonder what it's like to balance your job as a dominatrix with your real life and boyfriend? Find out here.

Suck & Disorderly

Here's a case of male model sluttiness. Looks as though this Prada model thought he could get off of some public drunkenness and disorderly conduct charges by offering to suck off the arresting cops. Yeah, that's the way you'll beat the disorderly conduct charge.

Tales of a Prostidude

So, as you may or may not know, Nevada now has its first-ever male prostitute. This was a big deal a month or so ago—all over the news, etc—and now he’s back in the headlines.

Today, the NY Post ran an undercover story of one woman’s trip to Nevada, where she spent two hours with “Markus” for $500. Don’t bother reading the article, which is just a bunch of incoherent factoids slapped together. Here is your cheat sheet:

* The woman did not sleep or make out with ex-Marine Markus (real name, Patrick). This is the most important fact. How can you write an undercover expose if you don’t experience the goods? What a waste of $500.
* He is well-hung and has a crazy body.
* Patrick has mommy issues, which he credits as the reason he got into prostitution.
* He lost his v-card at age 23 (he’s 25 now) and has only slept with a total of SIX (6) women. What business does he have being a prostidude? Despite all of the publicity his hiring received, the reporter is only his second client.
* This man is truly pathetic—likening himself to Van Gogh, Moby, Rosa Parks, and Steve-O.
* We need less talk, more action. Surely the reporter just tried to keep him talking, but the unnecessary autobiography Patrick provided just makes him look ridiculous.

Add in the pre-getting-dirty shower to inspect each other’s goods and the heart-shaped, candle-filled hot tub…this revolutionary prostidude is everything you’d expect him to be.