Valentine's Day Sucks...Literally

And now for a new segment we're calling "My Slutty Valentine"--thoughtful V-day gift ideas for the ho in your life.

Today's is a freezer pop mold in the shape of a penis. Though we're not sure that the color of the mold (in this case purple) is relevant, it is important to note that this mold makes you not just one penis pop, but four. One apiece for your ho and three of her slutty friends.

Or all four for said ho. Depending on how she rolls.

The Grind

So, this is a fun story. A dude in England decided to hump a steel pipe, and when he became aroused by the act, his wang got stuck in there. It gets better. When emergency responders arrived, they had to GRIND the pipe off. We can just imagine how many of you guys out there would love to have a metal grinder/saw a...nywhere close to your goods.