A Slutty Treasure Chest

Help your Slutty Valentine keep track of her little treasures, condoms, phone numbers, etc with one of these keepsake boxes. Our favorite is the one labeled Strumpet.

Slutty Readers

Does your Slutty Valentine know how to read? Or just how to count the notches in her bedpost? If she can read, she might like this erotic thriller, The White Lady Murders--written by a Slut Rehab fan. If you're on a budget, and your ho has a Kindle, it's only $1.

Let's Make a LoveKit

How about creating your own LoveKit from Booty Parlor? You can stock it with everything from lip gloss and body shimmer to whips, undies, and toys. Each one comes with a va-va-voom feather boa in designer packaging. Probably the most practical gift idea we've given so far--and you can make it as slutty or as tame as you want.

Hey Valentine, You Know What Time it Is?

Today's My Slutty Valentine gift idea: a clock that says "Support diversity, sleep around." You know, so your ho can keep track of her comings and goings. Hope your slutty valentine doesn't just tell time with digital clocks!

Valentine's Day Sucks...Literally

And now for a new segment we're calling "My Slutty Valentine"--thoughtful V-day gift ideas for the ho in your life.

Today's is a freezer pop mold in the shape of a penis. Though we're not sure that the color of the mold (in this case purple) is relevant, it is important to note that this mold makes you not just one penis pop, but four. One apiece for your ho and three of her slutty friends.

Or all four for said ho. Depending on how she rolls.