The Scent of a Woman's...Crotch?

Can't get enough of that oh-so-sweet poon smell? Well, now you can buy it in a bottle, with this new German cologne aptly named Vulva. Simply roll-on the scent-o-vagina, made out of "organic content" such as the "urine, sweat, and female arousal" of one particular blonde woman. The extraction and bottling process sounds quite complicated, but in this interview with Vice, the company head stands by his product.

OOh, Is that Bettie You're Wearing?

So this is the dumbest f'ing product we've ever heard of: My New Pink Button.

Basically, it's temporary dye for your labia. As if anyone gives a fuck what the hell color your labia is.

For a mere $29.95 you can choose from 4 hues: Marilyn, Bettie, Audrey, Ginger. Now, while we're sure that these Hollywood starlets would be thrilled to know that their namesakes are being used to describe the shades of vag dye, we're not so sure they would have cared how "daring" or "Ginger-licious" their poon was. Or, for that matter, if they would want to express (via the color of their labia) that "sexy hot pink, I am fired up, look."

Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. DUMB!