Big Breasted Need Only Apply for Australian Porn

Looks like the Australian government wants to perpetuate the stereotype of big boobs in porn. Why do we say this? Oh, just because they're banning small breasted-porn, as well as female ejaculation. The latter, they just say is gross. But the former is to prevent pedophilia. Right. Because only little girls have small boobs. We hope they plan on regulating this by sending an elected official to each porn shoot to personally feel up the actresses to ensure they pass the C-cup test.

Yarrr, Let's Save Porn!

Slap on your eye patch and break out the peg leg--YOU and your pirating ways are the reason the porn industry is failing! There are 4 other reasons as well, but we can't say that you and your laptop are directly at fault. Said reasons are: porn on demand, the fact that everybody's making sex tapes so it's no longer taboo, nerds who get off from online gaming alone, and hookers who double as porn stars and give their goods out for a small fee. The Daily Beast gets more in-depth if you care to get all of the info in order to start your Save Porn charity.

Protesting Porn Sunday

At first, we were really excited to hear that something called XXXChurch and Porn Sunday existed. But upon further investigation, it's a complete bait and switch! We'd expected Jasmine-scented incense, stripper priests, naughty choir girls, and holy water being flicked about off of dildos.

However, it is none of that. It's a campaign to heal congregants from their porn addictions. BOO! We've heard about the separation of church and state--well, how about the separation of church and porn?

Let people express their sexuality however they want! Or, check them in to Slut Rehab.

Besides, isn't God the name people are usually screaming during the act?

http://xxxchurch.com/getinvolved/x3events/pornsunday.html

Bow-chicka-no-no

Here's an article for guys and girls alike: "How Not to Make Love Like a Porn Star." Unless, that is, you enjoy seducing the pizza guy and getting it on to the sounds of a synthesizer.

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/11/01/make_love_like_a_porn_star_not/index.html