Commentating Hugh Hefner's Grand Slam

Ever wonder what it's like to bang 84-year-old Hugh Hefner? We thought so! And lucky for you, Kendra Wilkinson has written a tell-all memoir appropriately titled "Sliding Into Home," in which she shares her story of growing up a drug addict, becoming a stripper, and finally getting frisky with the Playboy himself.

We sincerely hope she goes into as much detail as possible, because who wouldn't want to know what it's like to cuddle up to an octogenarian sack of bones?

[via CNN]

Summer Lovin

Okay, okay--we've been slacking. Call it a pre-summer slump, call it a brief stint back at celibacy, call it what you will. But please forgive us. All that matters now is that we're back!

And since we're back--you need to get back to Slut Rehab too!

Send recaps of your summer sexcapades to slutrehab@gmail.com for us to post (anonymously if you wish). In the meantime, we'll get you back on track with all of your sex/slut-related news.

Strap on your dental dams, kids--it's going to be a slutty summer!

Breaking News: Hooking Up Leads to More Sexual Partners!

So, it's official--scientists spend way too much time in the lab. Why, you ask? A group at the University of Iowa found the need to conduct a study about the amount of sexual partners people in committed relationships have vs people who have friends with benefits. Their conclusion? Those who enjoy friends-with-benefits scenarios are more likely to have sex with multiple people.

Um, we could have told you this just by common knowledge. And if statistics were necessary, we could have simply stood at the entrance of any freshman dorm in America polling drunken co-eds on their way in from the bar.

Hey, thanks scientists for wasting what we're sure was hard-t0-come-by grant money to come up with this more-than-obvious conclusion. How about you stop rubbing yourself with the contents of petri dishes once and a while and turn on some TV? We recommend Jersey Shore.

[via Gawker]

So, you read Playboy for the articles?

Congratulations, all of you slutterbugs! Playboy is now going to have a safe-for-work webpage, complete with all of those articles you LOVE to read!

No nudies here, "The Smoking Jacket" will give you a dose of "men's entertainment" without getting in trouble with the boss. Translation: get ready to use your imagination a whole lot more than you've been used to.

[via cnn.com]

Happy Belated Birthday, Birth Control!

Hey ladies (and grateful gentlemen)--hope you took some time on Sunday to wish birth control a happy 50th birthday!

Photo credit: nateone from flickr

Bad Romance: Grandma/Grandson Edition

So there's been this article flying about the Internet recently about this grandmother/grandson duo in Indiana who have sought out a surrogate mother to carry their lovechild. As a disclaimer, the article has been removed from its original website, perhaps indicating that the whole thing is a hoax--which makes it all that much more disturbing.

Apparently grandma had a daughter but gave her up for adoption. Years down the line, the daughter had a son, who eventually tracked grandma down once said daughter/mother passed away. When he sent his 72-year-old grandmother a photo of his 27-year-old self, her first reaction was quite natural: "I thought what a handsome and sexy man." Obviously. So then the two met, at first just hanging out, doing standard grandma/grandson things like bowling, shopping, and eating out. Ew, considering the next part of the story, which needs to be a direct quote from grandma, who couldn't hide her feelings anymore:

"'I called Phil into my bedroom, sat him on the bed, and then I leant over and kissed him,' Pearl says.

'I expected rejection but instead he kissed me back.'..."

Sound the incest alarm! Since then, they've carried on as lovers, moving in together and banging three times a week.

Look, dude, we understand that you're apparently some loser who may have self-esteem issues which give you zero game with the ladies. But your GRANDMOTHER? REALLY? Life is that bad?

Maybe we should be happy that two souls found each other and feel a connection like they've never felt before. Maybe it's not so bad since they never even knew each other until now--it's almost like they're just two people randomly meeting on a bus or on an online dating site. Maybe it's okay because they're adults and adults can do what they want.

Maybe not. We're going to go puke now.

[via Gawker]

Feeling a Little Frisky, Dolly?

Nipples not hard enough? Or, rather, are your blow up doll's nipples not hard enough?

Then you needto by (her) Nippurun ~ Stick-on Nipples to give her that always-excited look. Whether she has a headache, is feeling a little stiff, or is half-deflated.