The Scent of a Woman's...Crotch?

Can't get enough of that oh-so-sweet poon smell? Well, now you can buy it in a bottle, with this new German cologne aptly named Vulva. Simply roll-on the scent-o-vagina, made out of "organic content" such as the "urine, sweat, and female arousal" of one particular blonde woman. The extraction and bottling process sounds quite complicated, but in this interview with Vice, the company head stands by his product.

No More Boners On-the-Go!

Apparently Apple is going on the warpath and slashing any apps that are too sexy. Have these changes affected you? Let us know if you're getting cockblocked by Apple!

A New Line of Slutty Clothes

Now this is a fashion line we can get behind. With a next-to-naked Pam Anderson strutting down the runway, the Richie Rich line A*muse, apparently created with the help of Anderson herself, premiered during NY Fashion Week. We're not sure who their clientele is--strippers, prostitutes, run-of-the-mill sluts, drag queens--but whoever purchases these "fashions" will surely grab attention. The big question, though, is why the hell Pam is trying to cover herself. No need to be modest when all you're wearing are two seat belts attached to a pair of hotpants.

Wrap Your Woody for National Condom Week

Since we're in the midst of National Condom Week (2/14-2/21), we've decided to give you some alternatives to your typical Trojans and Lifestyles. Here are some of the hottest trends out there:

Protect your putter with the Tiger Woods condom!

Get a 3-in-1 Frosty the Snowman condom pack and go thumpity-thump-thump all night long.

Call your pocket with this eight-ball number:

Live out your Obama, Clinton (either Bill or Hill), or...McCain (ew!) fantasies with these political condoms:

Or, studs, you can even put your own mug on a condom with a little inspirational message!

What Were You Thinking?

What are some of the things that go through your head while you're giving head? Maybe that you're enjoying giving the other person pleasure, ways to improve your technique. How about while you're having sex? Go this direction, that direction, heat, tingles. Well, stop thinking about it--these proposed Durex ads list every possible thought.

A Slutty Treasure Chest

Help your Slutty Valentine keep track of her little treasures, condoms, phone numbers, etc with one of these keepsake boxes. Our favorite is the one labeled Strumpet.

Slutty Readers

Does your Slutty Valentine know how to read? Or just how to count the notches in her bedpost? If she can read, she might like this erotic thriller, The White Lady Murders--written by a Slut Rehab fan. If you're on a budget, and your ho has a Kindle, it's only $1.